There is bubbling energy inside of me. There is a lightness that, in my imagination, can make me float in the sky. There is boundless joy, happiness, and healing energy that always finds ways to emerge. It brings a smile to my face. It empowers me with the drive to make things happen.
The aththai, eight-day fasting, refreshes my perspective and connects me with that magic from inside. I am sharing my experience and thoughts with this.
To begin with, my sincere gratitude for the love and support from family and friends that keep me going! 😊 🙏🏼
While growing up, I learned to deal with the challenges and setbacks. I figured how to cultivate relationships and friendships. In so many ways, it gave me the maps to navigate the terrain of my life. It gave me the compass to set the course and blaze the trail.
The strength and synergies from my young days keep me going till today. It gives wings to my dreams. It helps me pursue goals.
It also subconsciously programmed my mind to judge whether someone or something is helpful or harmful – is that a threat or an opportunity? It created the fortress to protect me. It afforded me the safe heavens to be comfortable in my little world.
However, my mind’s interpretation of what is safe or unsafe can also trap me in a cocoon. It can trigger fear and anxieties inside me, putting me in the jail of reactive thinking patterns.
Fear and Anxieties
I believe I was in my late teens, or early twenties, when I heard having fears and anxieties is normal. Everyone deals with it. You have to be God not to have any concerns or worries or uneasiness.
I am not the only one. That always feels good.
I also realized over time that dealing with anxieties, is a moving target that we are chasing. The journey or process continues all our life.
Two things about it:
- I might have buried some of my fears, or other unpleasant thoughts or experiences, thinking they would go away. However, now I know, they are stored in the memory bank, in the energy field inside me and around me, creating my Karma, or the pain body, or my ego. They aren’t going to disappear on their own accord; they surface in a variety of ways, triggering the chain reaction of my reactive thinking patterns. My ego is attached to the beliefs; it is on a mission to reinforce them, fighting against any attempt to “rewrite” or “redefine” my perceptions.
- I am attached to my wishes, desires, and cravings. The chase continues.
I can’t logically explain it. However, I can feel and experience that the above two things are related; they stop my beginner’s mindset from seeing new possibilities and letting new configurations to evolve.
Do I want to break barriers to embark on new initiatives? Do I want to cultivate even more depth and meaning to my relationships and friendships? If so, I need to revise my maps.
Fortunately, I discovered an empowering channel.
Empowering Channel to Heal, Grow
I think it was 13 or 14 years ago, when I somehow got the inspiration to fast for one day where I drink water, but take no other food. It extended for one more day. On the third day, my thought was to do it for eight days. It is the time of the Paryushan, and so there are ripples from conversations and stories of other people, helping me keep going.
On a ninth day, when I broke the fast, I was walking on the clouds. The lightness and energy that I experienced were incredible.
It has become an annual ritual for me except for one year, where it didn’t sustain after the 5th day.
Is it my will power? I don’t think so at all. It is a mental switch that flips inside. I draw on the grace, and the inspiration from inside that somehow emerges. Seeds were planted, I don’t even know when or how, gratefully, and I am enjoying fruits from that.
The help and support of all in the collective space nurture me. That is not only the physical space but also the inner space of love, synergies, blessings, ripples, and thoughts that touch me, heal me, energize me.
I am what I eat – that is, not just physically, but I also think emotionally. It is tying me into the vibes of the energy field.
The fasting breaks the cycle, connecting with calmness and stillness from inside. There are moments of a lull during fasting when I feel the peace, happiness, and joy from inside. It clarifies my mind; it loosens up my attachment to the material things even if temporarily.
Over the years, the experience has evolved. I usually continue the routine with work. I also try to do something that helps me reset my bearings. I used to watch a few old Amitabh Bachchan movies during my fasting, movies that I had enjoyed so much when I was a teenager, or even younger. I think watching those movies connects me with the times from childhood; it resets my bearings. For the past 5-6 years, I have been trying to read something inspirational or listen to a lecture with the hope of picking up a nugget or two that I can explore and implement.
The annual ritual of fasting is helping me expand my comfort zone, my circle of contribution. It gives me the inspiration to heal, grow, and nurture relationships.
My initiative this year with meditation and mindfulness gives me a few new tools.
Ripples from the Meditation, MIndfulness
I am the Atma – the stillness – the connected consciousness – the Higher Self. I am living in this human body, but it is not me. I can think, but I am not my mind. I have emotions, thoughts, and bodily sensations, but they aren’t me.
With that identification, I strive to be a witness to my emotions, feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations. My aim is to allow them, to let them emerge, and to observe them without trying to resist, judge, or fight with them. Let them touch my heart.
The process enables me to let them go, unlocking peace and healing from inside. Most importantly, it allows me to create positive reframes to open up new ways to explore my inner realm.
I read it somewhere – it might take us forty or fifty years to even come close to acknowledging some of the big daemons we carry. Mindfulness is a way for me to bring them in my awareness, and hopefully exhume them over time. It is a process indeed; I might as well enjoy the journey.
The anchor of mindful breathing keeps me in the right mind frame – a priceless gift.
I am hoping that it is a way for me to discover my fears and deal with them, cultivating the inner strength to forgive, to be compassionate to all, and appreciate the multiplicity of views. I hope I can take small steps – to let go, to smile, give, embrace, to be kind – to make my droplets drip. 👣 😊
Even beyond that, I hope it helps me be one with, be in harmony with, the collective conscience of the universe, or the Mother Nature! My prayer is it allows me to realize my True Self – the Atma.
#InspirationMummy I read the tag line on mummy’s Skype account: Self-realization is the religion. 🙏🏼 🤗 😊
Floating in the Sky!!??
How grateful I am for my ability to think, to read, to learn, to develop, to contribute, and to be happy! 🙏🏼 🙂
It is such a blessing to be a human. I am endowed with the ability to think – my gratitude for that. I can cultivate self-awareness. I can use that to liberate myself from the cocoon of the ego and reactive thinking patterns. I can change my perceptions. I can revise my maps.
Between what happens to me and how I respond to it, I can tap into my inner space to cultivate a positive dialog, to smile, to give, to be kind, to let go, to forgive, to care, to explore, to expand my horizons.
When I identify with my True Self – I am that bubbling energy, the lightness, the buoyancy, the boundless joy and happiness, the healing power, the peace. With that, in my mind’s eye as well, I can float in the sky. 🙌 😊