Aug 2021: Brief Additional Note
August 30, 2005 – it has been sixteen years now since we lost the physical presence of pappa. I am adding a few additional words this year (2021), first in Gujarati, and after that in English.
આ વખતે મેં થોડા શબ્દો ગુજરાતી માં લખ્યા છે. બાકીનું નીચે અંગ્રેજી ભાષામાં ગયા વર્ષે લખેલું તે છે. હું માનું છું કે ભાષા ની સાથે એક ભાવ પણ આવી શકે જે અમૂલ્ય છે. બારમા ધોરણ સુધી ગુજરાતી માં જ ભણતા હતા. ઘરમાં હંમેશા ગુજરાતી માં બોલીએ. છતાં પણ ત્રણ-ચાર ગુજરાતી વાક્યો લખતાં સમય આંખો સામે તરી આવ્યો. આ લેખ પપ્પા ને શ્રધ્ધાંજલી છે. મને લાગે કે એક રીતે આ આપણા કુટુંબનું વ્રુતાંત પણ છે.
ઓગસ્ટ ૩૦ ૨૦૦૫: પપ્પા, એક બીજું વર્ષ. તમારી સાથેનો સમય અને યાદો હજી પણ મને હૂંફ, આધાર, પ્રેરણા, શ્રધ્ઘા અને શક્તિ આપે છે.
હું આત્મા છું. તમે આત્મા છો. દરેક જણ આત્મા છે. આત્મા એક છે. આત્મા અમર છે. શાશ્વત શાંતિ, ઘણોજ આનંદ, અનુકંપા, હૂંફ, અને ખૂબ હેત હમેંશા તમારી સાથે રહે અને તમારી ઉર્ધ્વ ગતિ તમને આત્માની ઓળખ/ખ્યાલ સાથે રાખે તેવી મારી ભાવના, પ્રાર્થના, અને અભ્યર્થના. 🥲 🙂 😊 🙏
Dear Pappa, while one more year passed, I feel blessed to draw support, strength, and warmth from memories of our time together. In our inner net, we are the same collective consciousness and the eternal spacious awareness: all the ripples of peace, bliss, happiness, joy, warmth, loving care, nurture, warm regards, compassion, and positive vibrations to you. 🥲 🙂 😊 🙏
The Rest of this is My Writeup from Last Year (Aug 2020)
પ્રિય પપ્પા – Dear Pappa: 🥲 🙂 😊 🙏
August 30, 2005 – it has been fifteen years now. While you continue your upward journey and ripples in our inner net still touch and resonate, we miss your physical presence from our time together. The memories always bring a smile to my face. This blog post is a glimpse of what I carry with me.
I remember listening to these words at least a few times when I was very young – “Keri Lakate.” I was probably one-two years old, not that I can remember, but I imagine myself sitting on your shoulders and going around the mango trees and maybe picking a mango or two. Humor was, of course, me saying “Keri Lakate” instead of “Keri Latake.”
I have a very vivid picture in my mind of our cycle with a small front seat. I used to sit on that, and we would go places, riding with the continuous harmony of your feet moving the pedals. I used to think I was flying in the sky. I also remember mummy sitting on the back carrier a few times.
Rupal joined us when I was eight.
I remember you playing volleyball every evening behind our home in New-C in Khetiwadi, and running to home after that. Playing badminton with you was always fun. I was very proud to have the best cycle in the Sardar Patel School – it was a red color Raleigh Arjun. I think I used it for seven-eight years and never lost the fun in it. I was happy to always have Rajat notebooks to write in – those notebooks used to have a logo of a young child writing in a notebook on his lap.
The most priceless of all was a sparkle in your eyes that brought so much excitement and energy in everything I used to do. You always gave me that supporting nudge to explore new things. I remember getting roller skates after seeing a couple of Dairy Science students having fun with it. Learning and doing it in the long curved lobby of the Agriculture college was so much fun. Skating has continued with me till today.
I think you were an incredible storyteller and had a way to let the lightness of your outlook permeate and make everyone else feel welcome. Going to Anand to see a movie every month or so was a high light for me; the most exciting part was listening to your version of the story from it after reaching home.
I remember the pride in your eyes when we bought Luna for me, and I drove it home even if I had never driven anything other than cycle.
We used to go to Godhra and Bharuch every vacation, connecting with the family. Everyone enjoyed your humor so much, especially how you would pop it in routine conversations.
I could go on forever.
All experiences and stories created and made my world, which is still a core of what I am today.
Pappa, we used to go to Godhra during Diwali, and many other times.
Rajubhai shared this picture last year on my birthday; he told me that is Sweta in my lap. When I saw the picture, and it had a very calming, soothing, healing effect on me.
The memories from Godhra always bring up this question for me – what is the most important thing in my life? Simplify and focus on that. The rest takes care of itself. It encourages me to tap into my inner abundance, drive, compassion and care.
I remember that for a couple of instances when you couldn’t say “Avjo” while returning to Anand. A tear would well up from the corner of eye; emotions would seize the moment. I was probably eight-ten years old at that time. It makes me realize now, childhood plays such a pivotal role in life. The experience, the stories make up your “home” that you carry with yourself no matter where you go. That heritage is more priceless than anything else.
Our Family Has Quite a Story
I know you probably saw your home burning to ashes in the 1947 communal riots in Godhra. With that, not just the family home, but also the business shop and all other properties got destroyed.
The experience and struggle family went through probably left a lasting imprint on you. At the same time, the support from the entire family, and all brothers helping each other weaved a strong fabric of mutual support and warmth that stands even now.
It is quite a lesson learned for me to focus on positives, have faith, keep it all always under a big picture perspective, and do what I can to take the next step whatever that might be.
Dadaji used to mention it so many times – “My Pravin worked in our family grain shop for four years after matric [the high school]. He went to college after that.” I remember your account on how you were four years older than the most in your class, and not many people even realized while completing the B. Sc. at the Agriculture College.
You started as demonstrator there after that. Mummy started doing her B. Ed. with a few brief stints with temporary work at schools in Vadod, Napad, etc. That is how it began.
You continued education while being the college. Mummy to Vidyanagar to get her B. Ed. Degree. She also did her M. Ed. and then found a job in the M. B. Patel Education College in Vidyanagar. Eventually, you both got your Ph. D. degrees.
I know when I was slightly older than two years, I stayed in Godhra for six months. I vaguely remember sitting in the class with Timish before I made it to the primary school.
When I started understanding more, Mummy used to commute to Vidyanagar for her job, and you would go to the college on campus. I used to enjoy your conversations on research on fruit crops, particularly mango trees.
We used to get cheese and ice cream from the Dairy Science College when they would make it in their curriculum. There was an eclectic range of fruits and vegetables from the campus farms and home garden.
Looking back, I never heard the words “I am tired,” or “I am frustrated,” or “This is too much,” or anything like that. We always had reasons and stories to laugh, to have fun, to be happy. The challenges became opportunities to grow and develop, and those, in turn, weaved in a strong fabric for discipline and value system.
There was calmness, blissfulness, a very relaxed outlook, lightheartedness, and openness not just with the physical expanse of the campus, but also the freedom to explore and focus on what matters the most growing up in the Khetiwadi campus. It paved the way to grow, expand, and develop.
Our move to Vidyanagar provided an opportunity to expand further. Rupal did her most of the schooling and college there; I went to colleges in Vidyanagar. We developed so many friendships that are for a lifetime.
Pappa, we always had that dream to build a home. While it had to be delayed a little bit to finance my education in the U.S., you and mummy finally did it. Rikeshbhai helped with structural and engineering aspects and his knowledge and network with contractors. Rupal, of course, took a very active interest, being there at the time. Of all things, I think the front area of the home has your personality and temperament all over it. So many things – open space with swing, elevated landscape area in the front and thinking with direction to get nice wind, a welcoming outlook to the entry – are so you. Everyone that comes to our home in Vidyanagar wants to sit in the front area. 😊
It was fun seeing you enjoy retirement. I remember you learned harmonium and swimming, cultivated a beautiful garden, and were so active socially. There was a lightness of your warm outlook, unbelievable amount of energy – I think it gave you that youthful exuberance and enthusiasm even in the retirement time.
As we went to the U.S. to pursue further education and career, we took our heritage, our blessings, and “our home” with us. 👣
I used to enjoy sharing experiences and stories with you over letters and phone calls. So many times, I would bounce ideas off you to see how you would think about it.
The two priceless gifts I am blessed with are self-awareness and my ability to think – they help me take a step back and renew perspective to look at any situation or a challenge or a change.
Pappa, you inspire me to:
- Always find reasons to smile.
- Extend and reach out to others. Be willing to help.
- Take care of small details; they matter. If there is dust on the floor, I remember how you would simply pick up the broom and clean it up with saying a word.
- Keep things organized.
- Learn new ideas.
- Be open to different perspectives and angles. Respect the opinion of others in that way.
- Take time to understand others. Cultivate empathy to relate to others in a meaningful way. Have patience.
- Enjoy gardening. Even if I am not doing much, I still love it and might pick it up a little bit more going forward.
- Always think of what matters the most, and prioritize, focus on that.
- Enjoy small conversations, fun exchanges with all kinds of people.
- Be kind to others. Have compassion towards all living beings.
- Tap into my inner resources, believe in myself, and always have faith (shraddha).
- Enjoy life.
It is always a moving target and a process for me. However, the inspiration resurfaces for me every so often and resets my bearings. 🤗
I know that I am Atma. So, you are. So, all are. We hold that collective space together in our inner net. We all are one in that spacious awareness.
The ripples, the energy, the love, the care from you give us strength and support. You make a big difference even today. I hope, wish, and pray for all the positive vibrations, the abundance of love, harmony, serenity, the resonance of healing, the warmth of nurturing energy, and the infusion of synergies to you.
May our ripples of love touch and resonate to open ourselves up to that channel from inside where there is eternal peace, bliss, and stillness.
With smiles, gratitude, warm regards, and all good things,
Deven 🙂 🙏